Young, attractive, and totally not into having Sex

milkboys Articles 18 Comments

Screw promiscuity and free love—the sexual revolution has passed from freedom of sexuality to freedom from sexuality. It’s an orientation embraced by the 80,000 registered users of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network.

cake-sexThat’s where the conversation broadening the sexual spectrum started, back in 2001. Since then, it has sprawled across message boards and Tumblrs, as a way for people to identify themselves—and find each other—outside of the traditional sexual confines.

The taxonomy can be confusing: There are gray-asexuals, who identify somewhere between asexuality and more conventional interest; demisexuals, who only feel attraction in a close relationship; heteroromantics, for those who develop nonsexual feelings for members of the opposite sex; panromantics, who can feel a nonsexual crush for someone of any gender identity… Take a look at the sexual spectrum, and you’ll see that wanting sex at all—regardless of with whom—is just one part of it.

Comments 18

  1. What are they going to do after they get tired of just looking at each other? Or is it just a mass Walden convention?

  2. No, I refuse. If others insist on identifying me by some long list of labels that are mostly inaccurate and utterly fail at describing either the complexity or fluidity of my being, there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I will not assist in creating division where none need exist, however.

  3. It’s all nonsense – just pop culture political correctness going off the cliff. We don’t need to dream up new definitions for chastity, romance and bromance, Platonic relationships, friendship, serial monogamy, friend-with-benefits, or even jacking-buddy.

  4. With how sexually charged media can be, it feels wrong to realize that you really don’t get it. You understand what attractive is, the rules are laid out by society, but you don’t understand the why for those rules, why do they matter? So it feels like a missing piece. Sometimes having a descriptive label can make you feel better about that feeling of abnormality.

  5. It’s all a load of attention seeking bollocks, encouraged by the victim culture that amerika has spawned, like the need for ” a safe space ” in universities!

    If I had one, I would be appealing to my deity for strength!

  6. In just the intro alone, at least 5 “sexualities/genders/whatever” were mentioned (and the link promises even more), leaving out the primary two: Male & Female.

    I understand there are more “genders” than just male and female, but this list takes sexuality into the stratosphere of political correctness (in my opinion).

  7. Mildly disappointed by the comments above, theres people who don’t want sex, they get shit from straight people and queer people about it. So they make their situation more known, use a label like we do, they get more shit for doing that.

    Let other people be who they want to, its not hurting you, you dont even have to acknolage them. I will though, keep ace people safe.

  8. [there’s] people who don’t want sex,

    That’s a loaded statement because “sex” isn’t defined by either you or the others in this (and similar) articles & videos about “asexual/ity.”

    I say that simply because I seriously don’t believe that these “asexuals” don’t engage in some form of [at least] masturbation. And masturbation is sex/ual even if you refuse to acknowledge this.

    And, a huge “reason” for masturbation/masturbating” is some sort of fantasy or imagination (whichever you like to call it). So, *what is an asexual masturbating for/to?* What are their fantasies or imaginations [about] while achieving orgasm — either emotional or physical?


    What I’m trying to point out is, if you’re going to classify a human (I’m assuming) into some sort of sexuality or even non-sexuality, you need to be *complete* in this thinking:

    A boy/teen/man (for example) who is fantasizing about some other human (for whatever reason), is simply not asexual, but instead maybe just “shy” (for want of a better concept) about having physical sex with said human (assuming that human is real) — after all, *he is having sex with himself* at the very least and destroys the “asexual” definition.

  9. That’s just a lack of understanding, your questions can easily be answered by some self education via Google. Masturbation doesn’t invalidate their identity just because of the word they chose. This is the same shit all queer people face for the same reason, lack of understanding and an apparent desire to correct without understanding. Stop telling people they don’t know what they want and educate yourself, if you want, either way you can do the first part.

  10. asexual =/= celibate, asexuality is not being sexually attracted to people. Doesn’t mean they can’t get aroused. Doesn’t mean they don’t have a libido. Doesn’t mean they do, I know a few people who don’t masturbate, and have only had sex for the pleasure of others. You also seem to be missing the point that it is self-identification.

  11. a·sex·u·al

    adjective: asexual

    1. without sexual feelings or associations.
    “she rested her hand on the back of his head, in a maternal, wholly asexual, gesture”

    2. Biology (of reproduction) not involving the fusion of gametes. without sex or sexual organs.
    “asexual parasites”

    noun: asexual; plural noun: asexuals

    1. a person who has no sexual feelings or desires.

    a meaning, “no/non” + “sexual”

  12. So according to some people, when I, for example insert a real life dildo into my boipussy to pleasure myself, taken from a mould kit from a guy at college, 10 years ago, (Who was straight and 10 inches and thick with it) who was selling a replication of his own erection to girls for £30 a time, (I was the only male exception), and I still use it to this day to pleasure myself, I’m not gay? He was 17, and hung like a horse, my favourite type.

    P.S. It’s 9.42pm here in Scotland. Happy New Year, when it comes around to you all. I’m getting dolled up and going out with my two best girlie friends to a neighbours house. He’s invited two other guys and us three for drinks. All three of these boys are 20, bisexual and hung. So I’ve got a few days off, were all staying there tonight for nibbles, drinks and a good hard fuck. Happy New Year.

  13. You realise the dictionary definition is not the current actual USE of the term, and that dictionaries often fail to keep up, bet you in a few years that definition will either change or have another one under it.
    And whiterabbit1, what inane logic did you use to reach that conclusion? are you replying to another comment here? cause that’s the only context under which that makes sense.

  14. LOL. I was just having a bit of new year fun. I got pissed last night and had the time of my life. I’ll need to sit on a cushion until Monday. Had a great time.

  15. @penboy, put your dictionary down and stop telling people their self-identification is wrong. Language is fluid, as is sexuality, and whole or partial lack thereof.

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