The Power of Wanking

milkboys Apps & Games, Toys & Gadgets 8 Comments

Back in 1947, the U.S. government imprisoned Dr. Wilhelm Reich, Sigmund Freud’s star student, for trying to turn orgasms into harnessable energy. Turns out he may have been onto something.


PornHub claims that it’s created the first (and probably only?) wearable that converts the signature up-and-down movement of male masturbation into energy that charges your phone, laptop, tablet, whatever. The company is on a mission to save the world by doing what they do best — by getting you to, uh, give yourself a hand.

It’s called the Wankband, and according to Pornhub, “It’s the first gadget … that allows men to love the planet by loving themselves.” A weight inside the band — which is worn around your wrist — goes up and down during sexytime. That motion generates energy that then charges your various devices. You simply plug your phone into the band’s USB port and stroke away.

If you’re interested in testing out the Wankband, you can join the beta testing team here. PornHub says girls can enjoy the energy-saving benefits of Wankbands as well, but somehow we’re skeptical of this claim since the band is solely powered by vertical movements. If any ladies out there signs up, let us know how it goes, OK?

Comments 8

  1. Oh, to think of all the manpower I’ve wasted before this ingenious device! Probably enough to power the city of Akron for one whole hot summer…

  2. well it works for women too if the man lies down and the women just start to jerk off her man

  3. In a right-handed orientated world, I’m wondering if it also works for left-handed people….. :/

  4. Man, what a way to make someone that’s a gadget junkie and has a micro penis feel like shit….

  5. [Frustrated mom afraid she won’t get to work or get her son to school on time: ]

    “Junior, you and your bff get to work so we can jump start this car!”

  6. [Mother knocking on the door of her son’s bedroom: ]

    “Junior, what’s that slapping sound in there?”

    “Just charging up my phone, mom. Not to worry!”

  7. All this has little to do with that psychiatrist nor with any psychiatry nor psychology. Wilhelm Reich is of a sort who thinks that thinking actually somehow changes the world. Or, as some physicists also say, observe the world and you thereby change it. The little pebble that has the sun on it all day does not change the world. We, by our observe, do make change. &c. If thy see your dick, you and your dick does not change. if you see them seeing your dick, there may be a change. as many a detective knows, if you can not figure it out, go and find out. As the liars and frauds Aristotle, Freud, and Einstein do on many of their honest days do say, theories make no evidence but evidence makes for many theories, so, know less, then, find out more. . &c.

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