Just make guns gay already

milkboys Comedy & Satire 10 Comments

Despite overwhelming evidence from every other country in the world that strict gun laws are the only way to prevent mass shootings, the Unites States insist on doing literally anything but restricting their citizens from owning military-grade firearms.

Schools are built with spots to hide from attackers, kindergarten kids undergo active shooter drills, teachers bring guns to the class room when teaching 8-year-olds and so on and on. Everything but gun laws.

Maybe it’s time to try something else. It’s almost always straight, white men committing these attacks. And they’re almost always very concerned about not being perceived as many men. So how about… making guns gay?

Comments 10

  1. This was certainly a funny bit on The Daily Show but let’s face it – until Americans give up their ridiculous interpretations of the 2nd Amendment, mass shootings are going to be a continuation of normality for them.

    My solution (as an ignorant Australian):

    1) declare the NRA a terrorist organisation – that’s what they really are nowdays.

    2) Make a law stating anyone with a gun is automatically a part of the US military and MUST be used accordingly (yeah, you gun nuts are going to the middle east)

    3) Make laws that demand universal background checks on any person purchasing a weapon (especially private sales). Let’s get the guns out of the hands of the mentally unstable.

    4) A gun buyback/amnesty to rid the country of guns that are used only in acts of war. We did it in Australia and it worked out pretty good.

    My fantasies and your realities will clash here but, all jokes aside, USA – you have issues.

    1. until Americans give up their ridiculous interpretations of the 2nd Amendment,

      Exactly this — which I pointed out to horsey several months ago. NO ONE WHO OWNS A GUN PRIVATELY

      1. is part of any well regulated Militia …. nor are they
      2. securing a free State

      Anyone who says they are/do either or both of those ARE A LIAR. [Yes, horsey, that includes YOU.]

      Then, we need to SERIOUSLY OVERHAUL OUR SUPREME COURT JUSTICES regarding both the idea of gun ownership and the STUPIDITY OF “RELIGION.” [And while we’re at it, overhaul their stupidity about abortions.]

  2. Please, show me one example of a country with strict gun laws, where banning citizens from owning a guns helped anybody but criminals. I live in the middle of Europe and we have best gun related law in whole Europe – decent citizen without a criminal history can own and conceal carry a gun. Thats all. Despite that, we dont have mass shootings in schools. So it seems citizens with guns may not be the problem. I dont know what is, but it seems like it has something to do with America. Recently I have read interesting article about drugs – I mean legal drugs prescripted by doctors. There were a story about a normal wife with a normal family who was prescripted some absolutely legal combination of drugs… and she ended with stocking ammo and guns with nice completely insane plan to go to streets and hunt sexual predators. Husband found out soon enoug, wife ended in asylum for few months and happy ending. So, what I want to say is that guns do not kill. People do. For a reasons. Take guns from them, they use bombs. Or knives. Or cars. Ban everything and you will have a nice sweet totality like United kingdom.

  3. Trouble is, sometimes freedom can be a messy thing. Sorry ’bout that. But amongst all the lies told by socialists is one truth, “all power grows out of the barrel of a gun.” Your progressive buddy Mr. Mao T. Tung said that, and he was dead right.

    Armed civilian resistance to governmental corruption is exceedingly rare, the last time was Athens, TN in 1946: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Athens_(1946) But imagine if in the upcoming 2020 election, it is discovered that a crucial state voted a certain way because of provable voter fraud of some kind (such as illegal aliens voting). Should the people accept this and be ruled by an illegitimate President? Should they revolt? I don’t know, but the option must be there, and our governments, at every level, should always be in mortal fear of an armed populace, because the opposite – the people living in mortal fear of an armed government, is unacceptable.

    The gun controllers are impossible hypocrites. The politicians among them are all protected by armed guards, yet they would deny citizens he same protection. The police are no solution to public safety – when seconds count they’re always just minutes away. In 99+% of the time, at the moment of truth, when the crisis is upon you, your local PD might as well be on the moon. Oh, they’ll arrive eventually, just in time to trace the chalk outlines and hang miles of yellow tape. Whoop-de-doo.

    When a police officer wrongly shoots and kills an unarmed citizen, the Left is quick to blame the officer and demand his prosecution. But when a citizen wrongly shoots and kills other civilians, the Left is quick to blame the gun, not its user, and demand gun controls that would only impact law-abiding people. Go figure.

    Disarming good people doesn’t render criminals harmless. Almost never mentioned is the fact that good people successfully use a firearm to defend themselves and their property from criminal predation some two million times a year – usually without ever firing a shot (John Lott study). Think that number an exaggeration? Fine, cut it in half. Cut it in half again. It’s still enough to justify an armed populace. I myself, on two occasions, had to defend myself with a firearm. No shots fired, thank God, but after living through those episodes, all the arguments for gun control go mute.

    The victims of mass shootings, with the rarest exceptions, all have one thing in common – they were unarmed. In the nightclubs, movie theaters, stores, houses of worship, schools, and job sites – had every person lawfully permitted to carry a concealed weapon been allowed to do so so, the results of those episodes would certainly have been better, as the many incidents that were ended by the intervention of an armed civilian have.

    Both sides of this could go on and on ad nauseum, but the bottom line is this: Ban all guns, and you’ll still have a crime problem (see stats for London), lock up the criminals and mental cases, and you’ll no longer have a gun problem.

    “An armed society is a polite society.” – Robert A. Heinlein

    1. YUP
      Another spiel of crap.
      There is nothing right about owning guns and there absolutely no reason for anyone in the western civilisation to have a gun. Zero.

      If you like to pontificate about London’s current troubles then understand this – the reason London murders are found so horrifying and therefore endlessly in the news is because it’s an unbelievable aberration for the U.K.

      Meanwhile in 2019 –
      Chicago, pop 2.7 million, murders 330
      London, pop 8.1 million, murders 100

      Murders per million – Chicago is 10.2 times worse than London.
      And, most tellingly, who the f*ck cares about Chicago? It’s hardly newsworthy because it’s the American norm.

      The U.K. has serious problems right now and for a foreseeable future with quality of government. For some reason that’s not clear to us we have a political body encompassing all political parties that is utterly incompetent and untrustworthy. We have no political commentary that properly explains just why we have found ourselves with such a group of low class people.
      London’s immediate problems likely stem from this situation as with the country on a downslope parts of the country have embraced populism and anarchy in their poverty attempting to protect themselves by looking out for No.1.

      The books of public finance have been balanced by stopping investment in public necessities. Thus it’s painfully self evident the hammer bashing on policing and welfare budgets has allowed and even caused a criminal wave to rise up.

      Personally, I’m glad the more serious problems are focussed in London and let the dickheads who are the cause of our social mayhem suffer the most.

      All in all – it will get worse before it gets better. But London and the U.K. still remain so much safer than the USA by a very wide margin.

    2. “The gun controllers are impossible hypocrites.”

      No, it’s YOU who is the impossible hypocrite.

  4. According to updated statistics, peaceable, law-abiding American civilians possess as many as 600,000,000 firearms, and over a trillion rounds of ammunition. Believe me, if we were the problem, you’d know it.

    AR15 rifles are not military weapons. No soldier in his right mind would take a civilian AR15 into combat – he could count his life expectancy in minutes. But these rifles are now available in over 30 different calibers, and are suitable for hunting the whole range of North American game. They are available in dozens of configurations and appear in many target and competitive shooting sports.

    Considering that there are, in civilian hands, over 20,000,000 AR15s, in a bewildering variety of calibers and configurations, along with many millions of AK47s and other “assault rifles” of many different designs, the number of these weapons used in crimes is hardly a statistical blip, and as a law-abiding citizen I refuse to compromise my Constitutional rights because of the misdeeds of a very tiny, statistically insignificant, number of mental cases, radicals, and malcontents. Lock them up … and leave me alone.

    We know that the vast majority of mass shooters are homicidally mentally ill, and their condition was already known to the local authorities who did nothing. We also know a few are politically radicalized, from both ends of the political spectrum. A tiny few more are religiously motivated. Deal with them and the problem goes away.

    However, if you insist, MOLON LABE. Bring your friends, you’ll need them.

    1. “We know that the vast majority of mass shooters are homicidally mentally ill”

      And a pretty good portion of that mentally ill status is due to the belief and practice of …. “religion(s)” — i.e, Socio-Political Ideologies. Take yourself for example …… the way you go on about denying climate change/warming.

      1. I have never denied climate change. Of course the climate changes. Has since the beginning. All I deny is an anthropogenic cause, and the seriousness of the minute change that is currently occurring (globally: 1.3 degrees C per hundred years, with no warming over the USA since 2005).

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