50 years after Stonewall most queer Americans are still too scared to hold hands

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Fifty years after the Stonewall riots queer rights have come a long way. It would be easy to lean back and tell yourself that it’s a job well done. It would have little to do with reality though. There are many major milestones still to achieve and we even have to be careful not to lose some of the progress made so far.

Since Trump took office as president of the U.S. Nazis, religious extremists and other homophobes feel safe again in speaking their mind and often actions follow soon after. Trans people of colour are being murdered on such a regular basis that the subject became a major point for candidates in the presidential race. And that is just the gruesome tip of the iceberg.

Many queer Americans feel the consequences of a homophobic racist running the country. The acceptance of queer people even among young Americans dropped for the second year in a row and most queer Americans don’t dare to hold hands in public because they fear to be met with violence and discrimination.

In a survey 85% of respondents said they were scared when displaying this type of affection in public spaces. Only 15% said they had no fear at all of holding hands or showing other displays of affection in public.

More than three quarters of queer Americans surveyed said they believed that transgender people experienced more discrimination. With this in mind, just over 80% of trans people said they were “very” or “somewhat afraid” to hold hands in public, and not a single respondent said they had “no fear at all.”

26% of the respondents have personally experienced discrimination in the workplace. With 47% the number was almost twice as high for trans people. 12% of queer Americans said they had been refused service by a business before while 36% of trans people had such an experience.

Of all queer people surveyed, 77% said they were discriminated again sometimes or often when they apply for jobs. In terms of offensive slurs; 59% of queer people said they had been called a slur, and 81% of transgender people said the same.

However, people said there was also discrimination within the queer community itself. The types of prejudice cited as problematic included transphobia (60%), sexism (51%), and racism (52%).

Among LGBTQ people, 40% would not date a trans person. For gay  gay men specifically that number was even higher at 66%.


Comments 8

  1. At the end it is mentioned that 66% of gay men wouldn’t date a trans person, as if there was something wrong with that. That would be like criticizing a gay man for not wanting to date a heterosexual.

    1. Quite agree. Is a straight person “homophobic” for not wanting to date someone of the same sex?
      Are asexuals “panphobic” to everyone for not being turned on by any group?
      Am I “heterophobic” and “racist” because I mostly get turned on by gay white guys? Xenophobic because I’d prefer to date people who speak a language I speak. WTF?

      C’mon! No one is attracted to *everyone*. And 7.5 billion people is a little too big for my dating pool!

    2. I guess you could say that… if you’re attracted to someone because of their genitals not because of who they are as a person.

      When you say not wanting to date a trans guy is the same as asking a gay guy to date a woman you’re reducing the person solely to their genitals.

      A guy is not less of a guy because they don’t have a dick.

      If you lose your dick in an accident tomorrow (hope you won’t) you’re still the exact same guy you were yesterday. And hopefully people would not cast you aside because they think otherwise.

      And what would you do with Intersex people? Or people with unusual chromosome pairings?

      Trans guys are guys. There’s even scientific studies showing that their brains are more similar to that of cis guys than women.

      I hope you can find it in you to reconsider your position on this because categorically excluding people based on the fact that they were born trans is indeed the very definition of transphobia.

      I’m not saying you’re a bad person and I’m not saying you have to date a trans guy. I just want to say people are a lot more than their genitals and I’m sure you can agree with that.

      1. In my own personal experience, it’s not really true that everything is the same between a transguy and person born as a biological male. In any case, why should that be a goal, rather than simple recognition of being different?

        Part of the difficulty in people accepting this is that in our culture today, there’s a war of rhetoric on, in which basic realities of gender difference are not allowed to be spoken. This is to the detriment of everyone, including trans people. Anyway, if there was no such thing as “gender essentialism” then there would be no gender dysphoria.

        Trans males lack at least one the part of the anatomy that drives male sexual motivation: the seminal vesicles, which fill up at regular intervals (in a biological male), driving sexual activity. Hormones and the brain alone don’t perform that function. Growing up while figuring out how to deal with the sex drive that this biological system produces is, one might say, almost an ‘essential’ part of the male experience. Now we have trans males who become male and then recuse themselves of being part of the supposed “patriarchy” – accusing us cis guys of all being patriarchs who oppress. It’s difficult to want to get into a sexual relationship with someone who has that kind of view – and while not all trans guys have that view, the proponents of trans people have definitely taken a feminist posture on their behalf.

        And in any case we don’t have sexual relationships based on the content of someone’s character alone: otherwise we’d not have a sexual orientation at all.

  2. We all have to play the hand we’re dealt. We’re holding cards for personality, talent, orientation, appearance, health, desire, and so on. No guilt attaches to us regarding who we like, or who we don’t like or who we’re indifferent to. You can’t legislate morality, and you can’t compel attraction.

    We’re each individuals. We are who we are. Nobody else, just us.

    When I’m with a man, I want a MAN, with the appropriate plumbing, and masculine acting. When I’m with a lady, I want a LADY, again with the right equipment, and with a full compliment of feminine wiles. And when the time comes, and I get DOWN THERE, I don’t want any surprises.

    1. “No guilt attaches to us regarding who we like,”

      Are you fucking serious? That’s at least half of what “religion” [i.e., the CHURCHES] are all about.

      “You can’t legislate morality,”

      Yeah, tell THAT to over half the world’s population/countries. Even in America — where it’s supposed to be “free” — the fucked-up religious are legislating “morality” TO DEATH.

      Where do you get your STUPIDITY?

      1. Where do you get your STUPIDITY?

        I get it directly from the source – that bottomless pit of inexhaustible stupidity … YOU.

        And for that, you get my compliments. For you never take credit for all the stupidity you regularly post here, instead, you delegate stupidity, crediting other members as if it were they that were stupid, and not you, and for that generous humility, you’ve earned our universal gratitude and respect.

        You’re a real peach. Keep up the good work. Thanks again.

  3. If you are born with a dick and end up wanting to cut it all off, and out, then, so be it. If you are born with a cunt and want to cut it all off and out, then, so be it. If you want to be some one else other than you are born as, or, as you are grown up as, then, so be it. Do not blame others for your choices. — — Do meet self-describing t little dick gay guys demanding gay-ness in a gay bar. “We are still GAY ! ” do they shout then. —- — If a trans want this person, then, so be that want. Do walk the streets and find gay boys not of a want of / for this body. Do walk on. —- —- Do find teen boys wanting this to play with this sexually. Do refuse all. This does like some of them, but, still refuses. — Do meet three drag queens of their interest to this and do refuse them. — — Do refuse all cunt girls who want this. — — IF this is some problem, then, do figure it is not of fault of this person. — STOP MAKING THIS GUY a BLAME.

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