Rest in Peace, Jamel

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Jamel, a 9-year-old in fourth grade at an Elementary School in Denver, Colorado killed himself last week, only four days after coming out to his classmates. He told his mom during a summer car ride that he was gay. “He looked so scared when he told me. He was like, ‘Mom I’m gay.’ And I thought he was playing, so I looked back because I was driving, and he was all curled up, so scared. And I said, ‘I still love you,’”

His mother said Jamel also told her he’d rather dress as a girl than a boy. She told a local news channel that Jamel was being bullied: “Four days is all it took at school. I could just imagine what they said to him. My son told my oldest daughter the kids at school told him to kill himself. I’m just sad he didn’t come to me. I’m so upset that he thought that was his option.”

Denver Public Schools said it is providing crisis counselling to students and support to Jamel’s family. According to research, 40% of queer teens seriously considered suicide at least once in their life.

Comments 21

  1. Nine? Really he was just nine? I get that some people know they are gay early but nine seems really young to me. It is also far to young for someone to consider suicide as an option. The saddest thing is that his mother seems like a truly caring parent who would have loved him no matter what.
    I know from personal experience that kids that age can be really cruel and tend to isolate anyone who is remotely different. My heart goes out to all of his loved ones.

    1. “Nine? Really he was just nine? I get that some people know they are gay early but nine seems really young to me.

      Actually, no it isn’t. That’s about the age I realized I was different and also that I preferred to be around other boys — not girls. The probable difference for me (“my generation”) is that I didn’t yet know the words/”concepts” of homosexuality to actually vocalize it. I was learning them around that age. I remember going to our school library and secretly looking for books that emphasized MEN and LOVING MEN until I finally found one or a couple that literally mentioned (and defined) homosexual/homosexuality for me to accept it — the meaning and that I finally found out what I was/wanted.


      “It is also far to young for someone to consider suicide as an option.”

      Unfortunately, no it’s not — if you’ve been verbally abused every day, bullied, and possibly assaulted. You’re afraid to tell ANYONE, even your parents because the verbal abuse can be so strong as to make you seriously doubt your own parents’ love.

      Don’t let just your own experiences dictate what can and can’t happen to a boy that young. And it becomes even worse if your family is religious in any way.

      1. I was interested in boys’ plumbing by 8.
        And so sad and tragic that no one realized he needed someone to be there for him and tell him the haters don’t matter.

  2. I don’t know what to write… it wasn’t the first time and will not be the last one either. And nobody knew anything, nobody saw anything… I can only imaging it has also something to do with how teachers etc. are trained, or a cultural thing, not my business, it’s a family affair, you aren’t allowed to be emotional too close to the kids…?

    This kid needed somebody, just one person would have made all the difference, but nobody was there.

    1. Yes, I agree, “just one person would have made all the difference, but no one was there.” Public opinion, the laws, and the general state of hysteria over sex of any kind, even any mention of it, in America is a complete travesty. What a psychotic civilization we have created!

  3. Denver Public Schools said it is providing crisis counselling to students and support to Jamel’s family.
    😤Ain’t dat special…
    So glad they’re on it after the fact per usual.
    ~Suppose it helps just as much when bullied kids grab daddy’s guns and shoot up their middle school tormentors and anyone else in the way…


  4. 9 is not too young. I knew I admired guys in 1st grade, age 6.
    I also have to think of his mother. She should have held him close.
    She could have discussed bullying and his orientation with the school. She could have kept him home if school discussions went sideways. At 9 he needed more support somewhere. He didn’t get enough.

    1. @Ron Charles

      Nah, don’t blame her. All parents think their kids are eternal. They just don’t equate death and their kids as dancing together. It’s always the kid next door that is the one that dies, right? Never their own.

      1. “Nah, don’t blame her.”

        Actually, you can and should blame some of it on her — she should have not only known, but acted on reinforcing her love and support to him by at least letting him KNOW he could and should tell her any and all about the harassment he faced while in school. She [all parents] should make her/their children aware of the need to tell their parents about these things without any embarrassment about it. If he had been able to talk to his mom about the bullying going on in school, then I think he wouldn’t have been so quickly and easily wanting to end his life.

  5. At 9 I would have been clueless about my sexuality, let alone coming up with a plan on how to kill myself!

    I would not want to be a child again, its a sad bad world we live in. I was a happy 9 year old, some 40 years ago.

    The innocence of youth seems to have passed us by, they grow up far too soon, and it seems they die far too young,

    When did children stop been children.

    1. https: //wwwdotyoutubedotcom/watch?v=F_vy-eWGKSk

      Thanks for posting that song. According to that site, it’s from The Very Best Of Cat Stevens. I quickly checked my iPod and it appears that I only have the songs from his “Best Of Cat Stevens” … not the very best.

      And I’m glad you posted from *Cat Stevens* and not from that insidiously stupid name he’s going by now — with the “last name” as islam — that alone is enough to show you how stupid he became after taking that “religion.”

  6. Nine years old is waaaay too early to think about sexual orientation and gender issues. Of course he preferred the company of other boys – what 9 year old guy doesn’t? Every boy that age knows girls have cooties. Whatever a boy thinks cooties are, he’s very afraid and wants nothing to do with them. That’s also the age where boys are naturally consumed with hero-worship and fantasies about various glories. We were in love with those guys – we collected their cards in bubble gum packs, and every guy wanted to be a soldier, a cop, a fireman or an astronaut. In my childhood, 9-ish was the age of toy guns, toy soldiers, my first baseball glove, and my first football. We built model cars, ships, and planes, and with help from Dad or an older brother we constructed clubhouses in our backyards and forts in trees. All posted with “no girls allowed.”

    Our fascination with other boys also got real personal. We played ‘show’ and ‘doctor’ together, and by a year or two later we were already getting down and dirty. We didn’t even have the Internet to inspire our curiosity, nevertheless we were totally distracted by each other’s dicks and butts. And muscles. Think of all the boys you had experimental sex with – mutual masturbation, oral, and that one kid or two you tried anal with. How many of them turned out gay after they were deep into adolescence? Damn few.

    Only the bullshit of modern pop-culture and progressive liberalism could have blinded this boy and his crackpot mother to think that because he had special feelings for other boys he was queer and should want to dress up as a girl. We’re too quick with the label gun. The LGBT community can’t wait to claim another member, and the hyper-sensitivity about nonsense like ‘toxic’ masculinity has turned lots of kids into basket cases. The normal phases and stages we went through as we grew up are suddenly defining, and taken seriously, when they shouldn’t be.

    I just wonder how different Jamel really was, how his feelings were encouraged and subsidized by his politically correct, tolerant and inclusive mother, and if he’d been born in a different time, influenced by a different culture, how all this would have turned out. One thing’s for sure – I think he’d still be alive.

    1. “Nine years old is waaaay too early to think about sexual orientation and gender issues.”

      No it isn’t. Deep inside minds, most gay boys KNOW they prefer the company and the looks of other boys over girls. Most just don’t know how to VOICE that desire.


      “Only the bullshit of modern pop-culture and progressive liberalism could have blinded this boy and his crackpot mother to think that because he had special feelings for other boys he was queer and should want to dress up as a girl..”

      You consistently prove your stupidity and your brainwashing with statements like that. I bet your kids are more like Eric and Don Jr. — well fed and maybe wealthy, but stupid and hateful to other people. You clearly didn’t learn empathy so you probably didn’t pass it on to your kids [but they probably go to church every Sunday and that’s all that matters to you and them].

  7. He isn’t old enough to know whether he is gay or not. That’s an age of best friends and being with the guys and club houses. At 9 he is pre-pubescent. Sexual identity is very fluid until sexual maturity anyway. Who knows what he might have read that caused his thinking to go in that direction.

    1. Penboy already answered that perfectly, do not you read any other comments? And I can assure you too, I know that i was gay, even when I didn’t know the terminus, from 3rd or 4rd grade on when I fell in love with a new class mate. And no, my sexual identity wasn’t “very fluid until” my “sexual maturity”. “At 9 he is pre-pubescent.” – And, what does that mean? We are all already sexual beings when we are born. The only thing that differentiate us is how long we take to realize that.

  8. Jamal was too young to make his decisions alone. The LGBT community should help set up a program similar to Big Brothers/ Big Sisters. I am sure there are many adult gay people who would like to be a positive role model for the kids. Parents could be involved but not with there own children.
    There could be a Monitor to be an overseer with a hot line incase a kid is having a problem with his/her Bb/Bs.

    I should think a monthly meeting between the Bb/Bs and the monitor to compare problems and seek solutions.
    Jamal, I hope the of sadness of your death brings some good.

  9. This is not as it should be. He should have been able to go to school and be himself without having to hide or feel like he was lying.

    Sadly, the world is not and will likely never will be as it should be.

    This is why his mother should have had a long talk with him after reassuring him that she still loved him. She should have prepared him for exactly this type of response from his peers. She should have told him that if he didn’t think he could handle that potential response there was nothing wrong with keeping it to himself for the time being.

    If he insisted on coming out to his peers, she should have met with his teacher the very next day to make them aware and see their reaction to finding out first hand…. and she damn sure should have contacted an organization such as PFLAG or GLAAD for help.

    This is what happens when you live in the world as it should be to the extent that you ignore it as it is.

  10. Rest in Peace, Jamel milkboys 2018-08-28 …
    — Do believe nothing of any of this.
    — The only testimony we see / hear is of / from the mommy.
    — The very ideas of BOYS wanting to be GIRLS comes from the parenting, not from a birthing.
    — A sudden FOUR DAYS ? Then, a 9 year old suicide ? DUH !!!
    — BELIEVE IT NOT. Do suggest murder.

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