Fanfic Friday *1

milkboys Stories 3 Comments

We had pictures, videos, films, music and so on. Let’s try something new and rather nostalgic: Stories! I’ll pick some funny, silly, hot or otherwise interesting fanfics or other stories for you every now and then and you can save them for cosy Sunday mornings if you wish ;)  Send us your favourite stories as well!

Today’s theme: Game of Thrones!

Tommen “Can’t hug every cat” Baratheon

The Hand of the King by Nicholas Patrick

Tommen, first of his name, King of Andals, the Rhoyar and the First Men, Defender of the Faith and Lord Protector of the Seven Kingdoms perched anxiously upon the Iron Throne. His herald stepped forward preparing to announce his first and only appointment at court for the day.

“Ser Loras Tyrell of Higharden,” the herald barked before resuming his hovering position to the left and slightly behind the chair forged of 1000 swords (or like 200 if you just watch the show). Loras entered looking slightly confused. He couldn’t remember how he had ended up back at court.

“Your Grace,” he said hoping to find out just what was going on. “Why have I been summoned? The last thing I remember was either being horribly burned at the siege of Dragonstone or locked up by the Faith Militant on false allegations.” The King stood.

“My good Ser Loras, we’re in the show’s version of events. I am the super cute 17 year old Tommen who loves boning your sister, not the affable 6 year old who plays with cats from the books.”

Somehow that made sense as all the courtiers turned and nodded agreement to each other. But that only half answered why the heir (or 3rd son, depending on your perspective) to Highgarden was summoned by his brother by law. Tommen began to clarify for him.

“You see, I have been unable to secure the release of your sister, the Queen or my mother, the Queen, but the High Sparrow told me I could have another Queen of sorts.”

The assembled crowd let out a hushed round of laughter that ended when the herald pounded his staff on the stone floor. “I don’t understand your Grace… What is going on?” the Knight of the Flowers inquired.

“On the condition that you accept 7 punishments for your crimes (crimes which for the record, I’m totally ok with; It’s just religion, you know) you will be released into my custody where I plan to name you the Hand of the King,” Tommen declared causing murmurs to rise up from the lords and ladies inside Maegor’s Holdfast.

Loras was relieved and afraid all at the same time. He just had two more questions for his King. “Thank you my King,” he began. “I am forever in your debt. But I wonder, what are these 7 punishments, and which Loras Tyrell am I again? The late teen, lithe and agile but surprisingly strong Loras from the books, or the beefcake mid 20s Loras from the show…” his voice trailed off.

Read on…

Comments 3

  1. Ahh, it was only a matter of time before someone came up with Tommen slash fiction. I used to watch the show just to see Bran, in his younger days, laying in bed looking like he needs someone to help keep him warm. Oh, I digress…

    It’s a glaring hole, though, that with all these medieval / ancient revival shows, not one is brave enough to depict any man-boy eroticism. In a lot of places it’s what the majority of men were doing, not so much women, nor other men.

    1. GoT is really overrated and I don’t enjoy the cynical tone of these stories, but it’s commercially successful as there is obviously a great demand for this grisly kind of fantasy.

  2. What I found amusing were all the comments the episode he consummated his marriage engendered. About how creepy it was. He was 16 when he filmed it. Not all that long ago he’d have been married and having kids, but suddenly that’s creepy. The article I read had women commented about him being ‘half-naked’ in front of this woman (as he was of course wearing shorts when he was shown lying under the covers in bed). This ties in perfectly with another thing I just recently noticed. I was browsing through movies on IMDB yesterday and I happened to see the parental advisory link. Inside they list all the things about the film they feel might concern parents, like drug use, or violence, etc. Under sex, I’ve noticed on more than one occasion someone write something about a male being shirtless. I mean, honestly? This is something worthy of mentioning under ‘sexual situations’? Do guys just not go shirtless anymore without causing a stir?

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