Don’t Sneak

milkboys Film & TV, Mixed & Random 11 Comments

Patrick Haggerty grew up the son of a dairy farmer in rural Dry Creek, Washington, during the 1950s. As a teenager, Pat began to understand he was gay—something he thought he was hiding well. But one day, after performing at a school assembly, Pat learned that his father could see him much more clearly than he realized.

Comments 11

  1. ❦Excellent short film, straight and to the point…
    Best we see our true selves in the mirror before we belittle others.

  2. From the video: “Patrick tells his daughter, Robin, about the day he performed at a school assembly and his father showed up unexpectedly.”

    As soon as I read this, I immediately thought of the movie, Dead Poets Society when one of the lead characters, Neil Perry (Robert Sean Leonard) went on (against his father’s wishes) to be in his private prep-school play, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and the repercussion of dealing with his father afterward.

    Not every child can carpe diem [“seize the day”] or even, carpe diem quam minimum credula postero [“pluck the day, trusting as little as possible in the next”], with regard to “not sneaking” about homosexuality.


    The video presents a great message to teach children, as long as it’s physically and emotionally safe for one to “come out” (“don’t sneak”) to a family member.

    For some families and in certain areas where they live, it’s simply not feasible to not sneak around others when dealing with issues of homosexuality or transgenderism (or bisexuality). Their entire emotional being can rest on whether their family members or their school “find out” if they are “different” from what they expect of their children.


    As an aside, I like the artwork in the video, particularly the cars of both the brother and father. I really like the father’s — it’s roof is similar to the late-40s, early-50s Studebaker, but the body looks more like the same years Chevrolet. :-)

    1. I thought of Dead Poets Society also, even though my memory about the movie is really blurry. But then, I feel my age starts to show at the same time, as I can’t understand how quickly the time passed away, and I feel it wasn’t long time ago despite can’t remember anything clearly neither. Not long after I hit the drinking age, I feel like so much older already, and it feels bad. Carpe diem is the word ironed in my mind, and I always attempt to live fully out of it, since the time I can’t remember. Maybe during the similar time, I discovered my own sexuality also, and I can’t recall what happened, but the feelings remained.

      For the cars, I instantly recognized the Chevy Fleetline/Fleetmaster, when the overall profile is so iconic for the ’40s, and I recall it was my favorite toy car as a boy. I still regularly see a Fleetline around the residence in the countryside, in a two-tone paint, with deluxe dual fog lights on the bumper, something quite an option in its day. Many of them with dual fog lights were heavily loaded with sun visors, and many many other accessories. The other car is a Dodge coupe, a car I still regularly see in the summer time, but usually in many other body styles. Often on the roads like that, I pass by in my ’70s sedan enjoying the countryside scenery, taking my time.

      the first picture is a RHD conversion version of the Chevy from a Britain website.

  3. I have to count myself as one of the lucky ones. I grew up in New York City, with hippie parents who loved me unconditionally. While I had just as much teen angst as anybody, I never suffered because of my questioning nature. Both of my parents claim they knew I liked boys from early on, and resolved to only ever support me. I never wanted for other boys to hook up with, but I watched over the years as they, and their families, struggled to come to terms with their sexuality. Three friends of mine committed suicide. It was difficult to watch, and definitely had an impact on my career choices.

    I think Story Corps is the best thing to come along in terms of archiving the human experience, and I very much enjoy these.

  4. Penboy, you always have such ellaborate stories and tales with lots of commentary. Not meant as an insult of course, it just makes me wonder how old you are.
    Because you sometimes sound like a grandfather O_o

  5. the old man was right but also this is not a real encounter nor real conversation … or, if it really was, it is one in a million. You hide for protection. So I resent this as false testimony and worse, maybe false acrimony against those who were there at the time. CUTE STORY TELLING anyway, leave it there I say. And I do

  6. This is a horrible message for young people tbh, if you don’t hide your sexuality at the right time the cunts of this world will beat your ass and burn down your house.

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