The Bonerless Bathing Suit

milkboys Mixed & Random 10 Comments

Getting a boner at the beach can be a bit awkward. When you don’t quite have the confidence to just act like it’s no big deal Pornhub has something that might help. They just launched their “Bonerless Bathing Suit”, which is supposed to keep you from showing off how excited nubile sunbathing bodies get you.

“Isn’t that the whole point of going to the beach?” said everyone ever. Some “gay” bathing suits are even cut to literally show off an erect penis to its greatest advantage. But if you’re not adventurous enough to let everyone see how much you’re enjoying your partner putting that sunblock on…

…and are willing to spend $69 (of course), at least got an option now (besides, you know, just lying on your tummy for a bit).

“Introducing the Bonerless Bathing Suit, the cure for those beach boner blues,” reads Pornhub’s website. “Whether it’s the swarms of half-naked bods, a warm breeze catching you just the right way or simply because your little buddy’s got a mind of his own, if your start to rise our patented Bonerless Technology will stop the tide. So grab your shades and your surfboard and leave your worries at home, because turning your next hard-on into a hard-off will be a day at the beach.”

It’s not just a PR stunt! The suit is on sale at, comes in four sizes (S-XL) and retails for $69.95. According to the official description, “an inner layer of form-fitting material holds in the excitement. High quality, breathable fabric will stretch but wont strangle. Ergonomic design provides maximum comfort in your time of need.”