The Bonerless Bathing Suit

milkboys Mixed & Random 10 Comments

Getting a boner at the beach can be a bit awkward. When you don’t quite have the confidence to just act like it’s no big deal Pornhub has something that might help. They just launched their “Bonerless Bathing Suit”, which is supposed to keep you from showing off how excited nubile sunbathing bodies get you.

“Isn’t that the whole point of going to the beach?” said everyone ever. Some “gay” bathing suits are even cut to literally show off an erect penis to its greatest advantage. But if you’re not adventurous enough to let everyone see how much you’re enjoying your partner putting that sunblock on…

…and are willing to spend $69 (of course), at least got an option now (besides, you know, just lying on your tummy for a bit).

“Introducing the Bonerless Bathing Suit, the cure for those beach boner blues,” reads Pornhub’s website. “Whether it’s the swarms of half-naked bods, a warm breeze catching you just the right way or simply because your little buddy’s got a mind of his own, if your start to rise our patented Bonerless Technology will stop the tide. So grab your shades and your surfboard and leave your worries at home, because turning your next hard-on into a hard-off will be a day at the beach.”

It’s not just a PR stunt! The suit is on sale at, comes in four sizes (S-XL) and retails for $69.95. According to the official description, “an inner layer of form-fitting material holds in the excitement. High quality, breathable fabric will stretch but wont strangle. Ergonomic design provides maximum comfort in your time of need.”

Comments 10

  1. In a rare moment of lucidity I’d prefer to see a proper advert explaining how the product works rather than this cringe worthy load of garbage.

  2. After seeing the boy at the top applying sunscreen on his friend-with-benefits I might need one too. o.o

  3. Keeping that guy’s boner hidden is a public service. You can put some of my taxes toward that.

  4. Our society is becoming more prudish every year. How ashamed are we supposed to be of our body? Should I start investing in burkas for men? Sounds like the future…

    Well, wanna know my motto?
    Healthy boys have boners. Get over it people!

  5. TRY — Ultimate Genital Hiding Gaff for Crossdressing & Transgender Black Satin
    — ITEMS to make Genital obviates invisible and hiding it all, including hiding of the of female flaps and male bumps, and putting all such public may bees under control, is as old as tights. HIDE and SEEK. The they say it is a GAFF. It is a way to fool others that there is noting there for you to see.
    — If one wants to put the other under genital control, use a gaff. If one wants to con some one, there is the other word, gaff some one. GAFF the pry and CON them … hook them and convince them they are yours only.
    — Nice fantasy …. and NOT a bdsm source …but … .

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