We had pictures, videos, films, music and so on. Let’s try something new and rather nostalgic: Stories! I’ll pick some funny, silly, hot or otherwise interesting fanfics or other stories for you every now and then and you can save them for cosy Sunday mornings if you wish ;) Send us your favourite stories as well!
Today’s theme: Game of Thrones!
Tommen “Can’t hug every cat” Baratheon
The Hand of the King by Nicholas Patrick
Tommen, first of his name, King of Andals, the Rhoyar and the First Men, Defender of the Faith and Lord Protector of the Seven Kingdoms perched anxiously upon the Iron Throne. His herald stepped forward preparing to announce his first and only appointment at court for the day.
“Ser Loras Tyrell of Higharden,” the herald barked before resuming his hovering position to the left and slightly behind the chair forged of 1000 swords (or like 200 if you just watch the show). Loras entered looking slightly confused. He couldn’t remember how he had ended up back at court.
“Your Grace,” he said hoping to find out just what was going on. “Why have I been summoned? The last thing I remember was either being horribly burned at the siege of Dragonstone or locked up by the Faith Militant on false allegations.” The King stood.
“My good Ser Loras, we’re in the show’s version of events. I am the super cute 17 year old Tommen who loves boning your sister, not the affable 6 year old who plays with cats from the books.”
Somehow that made sense as all the courtiers turned and nodded agreement to each other. But that only half answered why the heir (or 3rd son, depending on your perspective) to Highgarden was summoned by his brother by law. Tommen began to clarify for him.
“You see, I have been unable to secure the release of your sister, the Queen or my mother, the Queen, but the High Sparrow told me I could have another Queen of sorts.”
The assembled crowd let out a hushed round of laughter that ended when the herald pounded his staff on the stone floor. “I don’t understand your Grace… What is going on?” the Knight of the Flowers inquired.
“On the condition that you accept 7 punishments for your crimes (crimes which for the record, I’m totally ok with; It’s just religion, you know) you will be released into my custody where I plan to name you the Hand of the King,” Tommen declared causing murmurs to rise up from the lords and ladies inside Maegor’s Holdfast.
Loras was relieved and afraid all at the same time. He just had two more questions for his King. “Thank you my King,” he began. “I am forever in your debt. But I wonder, what are these 7 punishments, and which Loras Tyrell am I again? The late teen, lithe and agile but surprisingly strong Loras from the books, or the beefcake mid 20s Loras from the show…” his voice trailed off.