Raising Zay

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Zay Crawford felt trapped in a boy’s body at a young age. With puberty fast approaching, she got an implant that suppressed the puberty process. This is the story of one family’s journey to acceptance and understanding of their 12 year-old daughter.

Comments 23

  1. ❦A sweet interesting film that lets families know there are other options to aid their children during this biologically awkward period of transition.

  2. I’m on pins and needles waiting for horsey’s most empathetic and understanding comment on this girl.

    Not going to disappoint us, are you, horsey?

  3. PENBOY – perish the thought.

    Puberty is a life-changing process – everything about us – physically, mentally and emotionally, is washed, rinsed and hung out to dry. The complexities of masculinity and femininity appear in their own good time. Nobody is the same after puberty as he was before. Needless to say, pre-pubescent children are disallowed by law and common sense from making any important decisions. So we’re going to let this dazed and confused little BOY (with XY chromosomes and a dick) decide HE’S a babe? Just because for now HE ‘feels’ that way? Kidding me?

    Zay is a bona-fide mental case needing a panel of shrinks and psychiatric intervention – not hormones and drugs diddling with the natural progress of HIS development. HIS parents are not just clueless, they’re practically evil – their complete failure to raise their SON (with XY chromosomes and a dick) with the proper gender orientation is true child abuse. Zay should be rescued from the booby-hatch HE’S living in and HIS parents should be in therapy, maybe prison.

    Both genders encompass a wide range of attitudes and behaviors. A girl can be a tomboy and still be a girl. A boy can be effeminate and still be a boy. U.S. Representative Martha McSally (AZ) is a retired USAF colonel and a combat A-10 bomber pilot, but she’s still a lady. In a parallel universe, the cross-dresser promenading to and fro on the stage with Ru Paul might have been J. Edgar Hoover, but he’s still a gentleman. Somewhere between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris at one end, and Tiny Tim and Pee Wee Herman at the other, there’s a spot for Zay.

    Zay is entitled to be raised as what HE (with XY chromosomes and a dick) is, not what HE, in HIS immature and undirected, unguided, unparented mind thinks HE is. HIS parents should give HIS biology (XY chromosomes and a dick) the benefit of the doubt. If after Zay is an adult – physically, mentally and legally, he wants to be transgendered, then fine.

    OK folks, I know all 31 genders of you are going to spank me for this, so my pants are down, I’m bent over, and lubed with 5 quarts of Mobil1 – the good stuff.

    1. @horsey:
      Well, you didn’t disappoint [us.] Now I’m having a bit of a problem, deciding which is more dependable, you with your negative views of transgenderism (something which you clearly don’t understand because it’s not just penis or vagina), or Big Ben chiming on the hour.

    2. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data.
      Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories,
      instead of theories to suit facts –

      – Sherlock Holmes
      [in Arthur Conan Doyle’s “A Scandal in Bohemia” (1891)]

      That quote is at the start of the following article, it’s an interesting read, especially the part about how idiotic “behaviorist” theories of sexuality and identity really are (and how much damage they’ve caused):

      A Review of Theories of Transexualism

      I imagine you’ll just decide this is little more than leftist/queer/hoohah. And, indeed, the jargon in queer/transgender studies can get rather thick and occasionally eye-rolling, but maybe you could be persuaded to read this instead, because p=.83 is hard to ignore, even in a small study:

      An Actual Study On One Possible Biological Cause of Transgender/Transexualism

      Furthermore, considering how much trouble the psychiatric and psychology fields in particular are in right now, re. the replication crisis of which I’m sure you’ve read, to suggest that Zay needs “shrinks” is…well, I’ll let you choose the adjective. Please make it suitably vulgar.

      Most previous (and occasionally current) “theories” on sexuality have been plagued by the same problem: an utter lack of evidence. Yet this didn’t stop them from “treating” people.

      It’s not just sexuality, of course, we all know how much pain and suffering resulted from the “theory” that autism was caused by emotionally distant parenting. Once again, it was a “theory” that made the jump from vague hunch to hypothesis to theory while skipping any evidence gathering and statistical analysis. This is the opposite of science.

      Please read the articles, open your mind, and do a little research. Just reading the wikipedia article would be helpful. Wikipedia is notoriously unreliable. But there are lots of links to actual scholarly and medical journal articles.

      People rightfully make fun of pseudoscience and conspiracy theory when talking about rather trivial subjects like aliens and chem trails. But Human Sexuality has suffered from a huge lack of actual sciencing in the past. And real people have been ground up by it.

      Jack

    3. Love people like you- you want to control everyone’s lives, put them in boxes and have them act just like you. This kid could be ready to slit her wrists and your response would be “You have a penis and XY chromosome, be happy!!” Your type focus on these arbitrary definers and act like thats all thats needed for emotional well being.

      Whats funny is you also tend to be the type who fight tooth and nail for small government, yet want total and complete control over peoples lives when it comes to sex and gender.

      1. JACK:> If there is a provable biological cause for gender dysphoria, fine. But I have my doubts because of the ‘regrets’ and switch backs. For now, I’m agreeing with Dr. Paul R. McHugh, the former psychiatrist-in-chief for Johns Hopkins Hospital and its current Distinguished Service Professor of Psychiatry, said that transgenderism is a “mental disorder” that merits treatment, that sex change is “biologically impossible,” and that people who promote sexual reassignment surgery are collaborating with and promoting a mental disorder. Of course he could be dead wrong and I’m open to changing my mind, but I’ll need to see more research for that. Anyway, thanks for your impressive comment.

        WHEAT FIELDS:> I’m glad you love people like me, I love people like you! There are some studies out there that report that folks who undergo sex reassignment surgery are 20 times more likely afterward to commit suicide. Let’s hope those studies are wrong. There’s nothing ‘arbitrary’ about your essential makeup – your chromosomal nature and your physical body – they’re the real world. Of course your emotions are real too. The only argument here is which aspect of our makeup do we treat when one or the other seems out of synch. For now, until the quacks and the shrinks finally sort it all out to everyone’s satisfaction, we’ll just have to agree to disagree. NO, I don’t want total and complete control over other peoples’ lives when it comes to sex and gender. There are just some decisions I feel very minor children shouldn’t be making.

        As for fighting tooth and nail for small government, perish the thought. I support every conceivable entitlement you can think of, just as long as they’re eventually funded through privatized investment and endowment and not through taxation and appropriation. There are some things I want done that only big government can do, and there are things that are none of government’s business. There are no absolutes, and I am not an ideologue. Thanks for your comment – it’s great that a blog dedicated to our peculiar sexuality and sub-culture allows our intellectual diversity to flourish as well.

  4. ♞Master Horselips
    ☞Golly gee Sir that’s a rather light and polite response for you… Think most will pass on your spanking offer and free oily anal ride though!

  5. Also to horselips

    Well, in spite of how unpopular your opinion is you continue to give it… don’t know if that’s impressive, or stubborn. One of the best points made within the episode is that for a biological man to be commonly seen as a woman it greatly helps to not go through puberty as a male.

    I’ll also note that most tests have shown that kids have a very good sense for their own sex and gender, and that to get hormones prescribed legally any person *must* go through therapy and spend time living as the sex they desire to be before transitioning, These aren’t sudden decisions.

  6. Sorry my comment got posted before I meant it to.

    People have been undergoing the very difficult and painful attempts at surgery to assert their perceived gender since at least the 1930s. The great advantage of puberty blockers are that the changes caused in the body at puberty can be held off until the person is old enough for the decision to be made (by themself) when they are mature enough to be really sure, avoiding even more painful surgery; if they do change their mind back, puberty very soon kicks in, job done. Very few people would take this very difficult course unless they absolutely had to.

    Grow up, and accept that the human body is more complicated than you can possibly imagine (apparently).

    If you can accept that people can be homosexual, going against ‘everything that is natural’ why can’t you take that further leap of the imagination.

    Oh wait a minute, this is the guy that thinks its normal to carry assault weapons in an everyday setting. Look where that has got you this month.

    1. fbfb: I can accept homosexuality because it does occur naturally. The further leap you suggest is “jumping the shark.” Too high a percentage of trannies seek a reversal. To risk all that on the feelings of a very minor child is crazy – especially if those feelings were not corrected, but instead tolerated, encouraged or supported by loony parents like Zay’s. Google “sex change regret” for enlightening reading.

      NO, I don’t think it’s normal to carry assault weapons in an everyday setting. I only take mine to the rifle range and back home. I will take a weapon camping if we’re headed for bear country. Like millions of law-abiding citizens nationwide, I do ‘carry,’ every day, either a very small pocket .380 automatic pistol, or an even smaller .22 Magnum mini-revolver. Depends on what I’m wearing, or not wearing. It is appropriate to carry a concealed weapon wherever you are likely to come into the presence of any other person.

      Fortunately I live in Arizona, a state which enacted “Constitutional Carry” meaning any citizen lawfully allowed to own firearms may carry, open or concealed, at discretion, no permit needed. (I never carry open). Constitutional Carry has been enacted in Maine, Vermont, Mississippi, Arizona, Idaho, Alaska, Wyoming, Puerto Rico, Arkansas, Kansas, West Virginia, and most of Montana and is being considered by 20 other states. Let freedom ring!

      1. Well now, horse makes it sound very rational eh?
        But, for example, I was certainly always aware of being attracted to other males from what, the age of four perhaps? Just an attraction, not necessarily a sexual thing at that age, but certainly a strong feeling. By the age of 10 I knew. My mind hasn’t changed.
        Many trans people know from the word go, likewise. We are not suggesting surgery for under 18s (though no doubt that will come), but puberty inhibitors, why not? They are reversible, and give time…
        Is 1% too high a figure for regret, well yes, if it’s you of course, but the MEDICAL stats don’t seem to back you up here. Reassignment surgery is one option, many don’t take it up.

        I realise I shouldn’t have brought up the other subject here, but really?
        To go shopping? Quote, “It is appropriate to carry a concealed weapon wherever you are likely to come into the presence of any other person”.
        Why? It is ‘appropriate’ to stop for a chat, to say good morning, to discuss your family. Why is that an ‘appropriate’ occasion to carry a (concealed) weapon.
        You do realise that the wild west was a fiction? From over 100 years ago.
        Where is a brickwall when you need one? Starts hitting head against it. Oh, good grief.

        1. fbfb: I hope I didn’t give you the impression that I’m a paranoid schizophrenic – fearful of everyone I meet, always with my fingers curled around the grip of a concealed handgun. Because I’m not. And I won’t bother you with the details of the one time just revealing that I had a weapon probably saved my life. Didn’t have to shoot it, point it, or even draw it. Suffice it to say, ‘been there, done that, got the T shirt.’

          My little gun is just another piece of my every-day-carry stuff -wallet, keys, reading glasses, watch, pen, cellphone. It all goes into designated pockets and I don’t pay attention to any of it unless I need my keys to start my car, the phone rings, I need cash or a credit card in my wallet to make a purchase, or I need to read some small print, sign a check, whatever – the normal goings on in a normal day. The firearm is like the spare tire in my car, the fire extinguisher in my kitchen, the first aid kit in the bathroom cabinet (in case you hurt your head on that brick wall), the locks on my doors and windows – you get the idea. It’s not a perfect world, and it makes sense to anticipate. I’m not a Mormon or a ‘prepper’ but I do keep a couple of months worth of food, water, and dog food (for the love of my life) in the storage shed. Just in case. Why not?

          You’re right – the Old West was not an ongoing bloodbath. Gunfights were rare and usually done along conditions similar to traditional dueling in the more refined society back east and in Europe. There were occasional outbreaks of stagecoach, train and bank robberies, but nothing like the tidal wave of criminality swamping Chicago, Baltimore, Los Angeles and Detroit today. Why was the Old West so relatively peaceful? One reason is because everybody was armed, and an armed society is a polite society.

      2. @horsey:
        “NO, I don’t think it’s normal to carry assault weapons in an everyday setting. I only take mine to the rifle range and back home.”

        You have an ASSAULT WEAPON? For what reason? Are you law enforcement?

        “I will take a weapon camping if we’re headed for bear country.”

        An assault weapon? How many bears do you intend on killing? What about their cubs?

        “Like millions of law-abiding citizens nationwide …”

        You consider yourself a law-abiding citizen to have a personal assault weapon? How many other animals do you think you need to kill with an assault weapon — or are you saving that for humans, like in your neighborhood mall or theater?

        When are we going to read/hear about YOU in a future newscast?

        1. PENBOY: I don’t have AN assault weapon. I have a few of them. Over the decades, I’ve owned FALs, HK91s, Garands, M1 Carbines, CETMEs, SKSs, M1As, Mini- 14s and FN49s. All I have left now are AR15s and AK47s. But I’m saving up for an AR10 – won’t be long! Curiously, I have no interest in the ‘bullpup’ configurations like Tavors, the Steyr-AUG, Bushmaster M-17, FN P90, etc. Just me.

          For what reason? None! They’re just fun. I’ve never seen anyone finishing a magazine dump from an AR or AK without a giggling ear-to-ear grin. And they’re ‘Barbie Dolls’ for boys. So many ways to accessorize and customize! Mine are dressed up with holographic reflex sights, variable power telescopes with illuminated mil-radian reticles, lasers, tactical lights – totally ‘tacticool’ as they say. And yes, because I obey the laws, I consider myself a law-abiding citizen.

          I should have been clearer on the weapon I take camping – it’s not a rifle, just a revolver – a S&W Model 629 .44 Magnum (stainless steel version of Dirty Harry’s gun). Unlike automatics, revolvers function perfectly with mixed loads in their cylinders. Living in the great Southwest, where rattlesnakes slither all over the desert and bears roam the mountains, I load the cylinder with (2) rounds of snake shot and (4) of 240 Grain Buffalo Bore max loads should ol’ Ursus be attracted to our campsite. In half a century of wandering these environs, I’ve been lucky – never had to shoot anything, but every year the press reports folks being snakebit or mauled by bears.

          As I wrote in a previous post, I’m not a hunter, never hunted, not interested. I have no interest in shooting people either. (I’d much rather blow them than blow them away.) You can go fearlessly to the theater or the mall. Enjoy.

  7. @horsey:
    “Too high a percentage of trannies seek a reversal.”

    Would you please post a LINK to prove this — from a reputable AND non-religious source? We want proven numbers

    “To risk all that on the feelings of a very minor child is crazy

    In a small way, that first part is correct — assuming you think “crazy” is not only recognizing their most feelings when …

    1. They have been “steered” toward not only clothes (both colors and types), but also playthings and more geared for their biological birth gender (genitalia) by their respective societies …

    2. These children withstand not only jokes and taunts, but many times actual physical harm just expressing their natural, mental feelings of the gender they now prefer from their peers — neighborhood, school, and mall kids, many who may be very close to their own age …

    3. They withstand incredible criticism of their society’s adults — teachers and other school administrators, elected officials and now social media “trolls” toward not just themselves, but also their siblings and parents …

    So, yes, it is “crazy” to be so young, confused and yet still possess the mental capacity to continue dressing, playing, “acting” and being the gender of their inner preference all the while being tormented by nearly everyone around them through their young lives — including their own parents until they finally recognize the seriousness of their own children.

    ” – especially if those feelings were not corrected, but instead tolerated, encouraged or supported by loony parents like Zay’s.”

    Oh, to be parents of these transgender children — having to withstand nearly as much torment from their societies [let’s not forget their sources: their church “leaders” and congregations] just because they finally recognize their child’s preferred inner gender.

    1. You make a passionate and reasonable case, but I can’t help feeling that boys like Zay have taken the wrong fork in the road and like so many other trannies, will regret what his parents have allowed well-intentioned quacks to do to him. With gender dysphoria, we’re concentrating too much on fixing the gender, and not enough on treating the dysphoria.

      As for links, just Google “Sex Change Regret.” Lots of good reading, and not from churches. Sources like Huffington Post and Breitbart give both sides very well.

      I am happy to stipulate that some gender bending turns out just fine, with the patient living happily ever after and the doctor paying off his Maserati. Rock on.

  8. @Penboy
    ~Even though it’s a well known fact that we’re not the best of buds… I find myself resistant to admit that your comment above was not only spot on but subject sensitive too.

  9. — As a young one, the ones with the name girl gets different treatment from any with the name boy. No knowledge as to what nor why.
    — Never even know, as a child, that females have no penis … until six or seven.
    — Eventually there are reactions to what is male / boy which are different from reactions to female / girl. No words nor concepts about such feelings nor any requiring as there is no learning of such at the time of awareness of such different reactions. Simple ignorance yet …
    — The human mind has no in-born concept of boy, girl, male, female, sex, gender, penis, vagina, nor anything else. The human brain has NO INBORN CONCEPTS at birth. We have to LEARN such. NO BODY knows what a female is nor what a male is until they LEARN about it. There is no part of the brain which knows anything at birth.
    — No boy can possibly ‘know’ they are a girl except and unless they LEARN it. A boy cannot in any way automatically ‘know’ they are a girl. They can not unless they learn it.
    — People do react to others in many ways automatically and in many ways by teaching ( by instruction or by example ).
    — Boys might react to girls a certain way and quite automatically sexually with no knowledge of sex nor sexuality. And the other way. They cannot say what and which without learning.
    — Viewers of the boy might describe the boy’s reactions as sexual even if he is ignorant of sex and ignorant of any words relating.
    — A boy can not ‘feel’ like a ‘girl’ as such is not a feeling but a social construct. A boy can ‘feel’ horny without the word nor concept.
    — An epistemological explication in brief.
    — 😂 🍸 ♂ ✨ ☮ 💕 🌞 ☮

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