Periodical Political Post *26

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  1. QUEER HIGH > Some kids come out and do just fine, some get their asses kicked. Reality check: If you’re going to come out and it might not end well, get some martial arts training. Seriously. If you’re school is cool, learn karate anyway. It’s not a perfect world, every homophobe didn’t get the memo, and the ones that did sometimes get drunk. Shit’s gonna happen. If you can’t stand the heat, stay in the closet until you’re old enough to get your CCW permit. After that, “never leave home without it.”

    EGYPTIAN COPS > Islam! ’nuff said.

    INDONESIA > Islam! ’nuff said.

    SCOTUS > Elimination of bodily wastes is a physical thing, not an emotional or political thing. Use the restroom thoughtful architects carefully designed just for you, around your personal plumbing. How special is that! Be thankful for such accommodating and inclusive favors, and STFU.

    GAY-STR8 ALLIANCES > Great! I’m a fan of what works. But, just in case, learn karate. I learned Italian marital arts – it’s just like the Asian stuff except two big gumbas hold the other guy down for you.

    FACIAL ANALYSIS TECH > One of these days the proletariat will have had it ‘up to here’ and a crowd wearing hooded robes and carrying pitchforks and torches is going to burn Bill Gates’ house down.

    COPS AND DEAF > When a cop turns on his lights, you have lots of time to pull your wallet, have your DL and insurance card in hand, and if you’re deaf, that card too, long before the officer ever gets to your window. Unless you’re fleeing for some other reason, like this dude who took the cops on a 6 mile chase. There’s a lot we don’t know about this yet.

    NORWAY > I’m perfectly willing to forego whatever any convicted felon might have to offer society. In my prison, it wouldn’t be expensive to keep them. An incoming con would be shown a pile of bricks and boards and forced to build his own cell. After that, he would join the others in the fields – he only eats what he can grow. He’ll pick cotton too – and when it’s his turn to use the prison loom, spin his own thread and sew his own clothes. No gyms, no schools, no TV, radio or Internet. Visitation only for the best behaved. Just day-in-day-out subsistence work, work and more work. Now that’s real rehabilitation!

    TERROR CHILD > I don’t care how old his head is, if he’s dangerous, that’s all that matters.

    SAFER SEX > Can’t we just leave sex ed in the gutter where it belongs! Especially for teenagers. Sex is supposed to dirty, nasty, wet and sticky, and the most delicious kind is forbidden sex – where you have to promise each other not to tell anyone! The last thing we should ever do is politicize sex. Geez, is nothing sacred? Is nothing safe from the progressive agenda? Hey! Teacher! Leave them kids alone!

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