Mistakes were made…

milkboys Blog 26 Comments

As many of you know I ran a quick GoFundMe campaign here a few months ago. Since then the site went down several times and, understandably, this raised questions about how this could happen considering the success of that campaign.

The truth is that I still don’t have a single Cent from said campaign because I made a pretty severe mistake by trusting PayPal and trying to use them to transfer money. They froze my account and the funds within for 180 days. So while I will get access to the money eventually I still had to rely on two incredibly generous blog readers to bring the site back in the meantime.

During all this I ran into some serious financial trouble myself–to the point where I’m not able to pay my rent anymore. I got a part-time job after uni and I’m currently looking for another one but with rent, energy bills, food, debt etc. it’s not quite working out at the moment.

I’m aware that most people who donated did so for the site and not myself so I’m committed to using the funds from the GoFundMe campaign for milkboys only, in fact I want to pick up the pace again and create more self-made content and grow the site.

But I’m desperate enough, as embarrassing as it is, to ask for your help again. I started a 2nd GoFundMe campaign here (not using PayPal again obviously) and I’m gonna be upfront with you about the fact that money anyone might donate towards it is gonna be used for personal things like rent and food.

If you feel uncomfortable with this (I know that I will get a lot of flak for this move)  please just ignore this campaign, it has nothing to do with this site and none of you should in any way feel obliged to give money to some guy running a random blog.

Thanks so much <3 

Comments 26

  1. PayPal has a great big anti against any gay site. I used to use it for donations to keep my site running, but they cancelled the account because “the site encourages sex” so I had to find other ways of paying for the site. Luckily I had kept the iomfats account separate form my real paypal account.

    No flak from me for this campaign. Good luck to you.

    Now get out there and enjoy finding a god job that you will enjoy. Frankly that is more important than a website, however popular. This is a time to be selfish.

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      Yeah, this isn’t the first account with them I have trouble with. But as annoying as it is, they’re a private business and certainly big enough to not have to worry about losing a few customers so not much to win on that front I suppose :/

      And thanks :)

  2. “Now get out there and enjoy finding a god job that you will enjoy. Frankly that is more important than a website, however popular. This is a time to be selfish.” (Sensible!)

    ❦Good Sir,
    Thank you for your honesty. Sorry you were unable to access your funds but the reality is it was for a ‘new computer’ and though you received double the requested amount it wasn’t spent so you’ve deceived no one. There were no set rules of how you could spend the extra funds received even if most assumed it would go towards the site in one way or another eventually.
    What surprises me is how you were able to keep milkboys up all those years before on your own dime and heaven knows what else. You have your own reasons for remaining independent of milkboard’s donated free servers which is your right as owner plus had there not been a milkboys first there wouldn’t even been a milkboard!

    I wish you the best in all your future endeavors and Happy Holidays no matter your present troubles which I hope end soon…

  3. Josh,

    Can you leave the rent & things post as a link in a permanent position on the site? I can give a small bit every month, but gofundme doesn’t have recurring payments and I (and others) might forget if it’s not in our face every day ;)

    Edit: it won’t let me pay. darn it. perhaps they don’t accept visa?

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      Hm, that’s an idea but Patreon might be better suited for that since they let you “subscribe” to a person or thing you want to support on a monthly basis and I wanted to give them a try anyway.


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  4. @It’s Only Me & milkboys:

    “PayPal has a great big anti against any gay site. I used to use it for donations to keep my site running, but they cancelled the account because “the site encourages sex” so I had to find other ways of paying for the site.”

    This sounds (if in fact, factual as the TRUE reason they cancel) like a very good basis for a discriminatory lawsuit. To wit:

    >>> I’m an avid gun collector and go to a firing range at least once a month [horsey’s going to love this]. I operate a website that discuss guns, show photos of guns (past, present and maybe even ideas for guns in the future) and allow “fan” discussions of guns. I’ve even showed photos of some of my guns in my personal collection.

    But, times have been hard this last year. I opened up a PayPal account for a GoFundMe page that I have been collecting donations to keep me “above water” — operating costs for the website, etc. Shortly after receiving some donations, PayPal froze my GoFundMe account on the grounds that “my site encourages killing” just because I show photos of guns and give instructions on how to use guns properly.


    I’m pretty sure PayPal wouldn’t freeze a GoFundMe account just because guns are shown and discussed on their usage as long as I didn’t specifically promote any killing (except animal hunting). But, in fact, as long as the site operated within the laws of the State and Federal governments, it’s none of PayPal’s business what is being said and shown on this [example] website.

    In my view, this is the very same principle that milkboys is operating on. It’s none of PayPal’s business as long as this site is totally legal in the area where it’s being operated in. As well, how could a website operator know with any certainty what a member or guest is doing or thinking while visiting this site?

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      I’m not sure if there’s anything one could do. Against such a huge company, especially for me as non-US-citizen. I’ll just avoid them in the future, use other services and hope that PayPal goes the way of all flesh rather sooner than later.

  5. Josh, if that pic is really you, and if things go from bad to worse, rest assured that Helix Studio will make you a star – an overnight sensation. Of course, there’s always Uber and Chaturbate. (I drove a Yellow Cab for several years – most fun job I ever had.)

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      I’m pretty sure that I’m getting too old for that business, if anything I’d be interested to build up a European branch for Helix ;p

  6. I think u should get out there and find yourself a job. Life is not fun with no money and the site is noot enough compnsation. Good luck, it may be fun too.

  7. There is little point in fighting the only game in town. Loads of things are getting better. Fighting US ‘christian’ morality has always been an uphill struggle. Eventually they realise that the pink $, £ etc has more value wooed than eschewed.

    There is always an excuse they can find. In my site’s case the site is teenage gay romantic tales. They think it encourages under age kids to have sex. They don’t need any of that! Encouragement, not sex!!

    Yahell used to cancel gay groups. GeoShitties (remember them?) used to cancel gay sites, even in their allegedly gay friendly zones. I’ve been doing gay web sites since 1997.

    180 days will pass.

  8. I’ve checked my paypal and it does show the transaction was completed. However, it shows your email as unverified. My guess is that if you would verify your email then the payment would process more smoothly.

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      It’s not that simple, sadly. The mail address is fine. They apparently have general objections. But it’s fine, I’ll get the money in that account eventually.

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  10. I would do anyhting to help the blog but unfortunately I don’t have any job and I live in the Americas so I could help you with some shleter or food however whenever I can get more money I’d help

  11. I’m hoping you realize what a service you provide to the LGBTQA community, even here in the good old US of A. By offering a safe place where kids and adults can talk freely and express themselves, while finding out about the struggles and triumphs of their peers from around the world, you’re giving them a tremendous gift. The Patreon funding model sounds like a good deal, I would certainly subscribe if that would help keep your site on it’s feet.

    I work with homeless and at-risk youth, providing medical services and referrals, and have referred kids (and adults) to Milkboys. Your work is good and worthwhile, I encourage you to keep up your spirits, knowing you are impacting many lives for the good.

  12. Josh, this blog is obviously a labor of love for you; it’s sad that something so great can’t provide you with a good living. Anyway, I’m absolutely up for some sort of monthly subscription should you decide to got that way. In the meantime I’ll help you out with the current campaign. Best wishes, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Any-Other-Holiday you celebrate!

  13. Josh, keep up the good work, I gave you some holiday help at your gofundme 2 site today. Enjoy it and have a good holiday season

  14. Josh, keep your head up and *f…* PayPal. You’re doing a great job and I’ve been on Milkboys’ for as long as it exists. And I love it! Keep up the good work. – I’ve send you some help. Have a very merry Christmas and a successful and happy new year! Greetings from Berlin, Germany!

  15. I was completely lost and clueless when I graduated, and the question “Now what?” literally gave me an ulcer. I dearly love your site and encourage you to develop Patreon page, but i think the most important thing is to give you a bit of an anchor at this moment. Every minute you spend on the site is appreciated and I cheerfully contributed to keep it going.

  16. Josh,
    I would be happy to donate; this website has encouraged me to come out as gay to friends/family etc.
    However, I can only donate a little bit (say 5 or 10 euros) will this help at all? I am a student myself, almost graduating high school so I don’t have that much.

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