Morning Glory Tracker

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Need to document your morning erection? Now there’s an app for that! Roman, the men’s sexual health app that launched last year, wants guys to start logging their “morning wood” as soon as they wake up.

Once a day, when you first open the aptly named “Morning Glory” app, it will prompt you to answer the simple yes or no question: “Did you wake up with morning wood?” The fun begins from there.

Depending on your answer, the app will take you to a GIF-filled screen. According to Roman, logging three morning erections in a row unlocks a “confetti party” to celebrate your streak success. But behind the the silliness is a serious concept: tracking your sexual health.

“One of the best indicators of a guy’s overall health is whether or not he wakes up with an erection,” a company spokesperson tells Inverse. “If you wake up with morning wood it means your blood flow & hormones are working properly, and that you’re at a lower risk for things like diabetes, heart diseases, or other chronic diseases.”

 For example: if you log “no erection” for three consecutive days, the app will suggest you chat with a physician and offers a free phone consultation with Roman’s Clinical Director. Responses will also be automatically logged in a calendar that displays your monthly history of “morning wood” and “boner streaks” to help generate monthly data.

Despite the fun marketing, the Morning Glory app is being backed by Dr. Steven Lamm, the Medical Director at the NYU Center for Men’s Health, who explains the important signals men’s bodies send via erections.

“If you’re experiencing a diminished erection, it’s often the first sign of a far more serious condition that could be brewing,” Roman says in the app’s preview. “Think of ED as the man’s equivalent to a car’s check engine light.”

The Power of Wanking

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Back in 1947, the U.S. government imprisoned Dr. Wilhelm Reich, Sigmund Freud’s star student, for trying to turn orgasms into harnessable energy. Turns out he may have been onto something.


PornHub claims that it’s created the first (and probably only?) wearable that converts the signature up-and-down movement of male masturbation into energy that charges your phone, laptop, tablet, whatever. The company is on a mission to save the world by doing what they do best — by getting you to, uh, give yourself a hand.

It’s called the Wankband, and according to Pornhub, “It’s the first gadget … that allows men to love the planet by loving themselves.” A weight inside the band — which is worn around your wrist — goes up and down during sexytime. That motion generates energy that then charges your various devices. You simply plug your phone into the band’s USB port and stroke away.

If you’re interested in testing out the Wankband, you can join the beta testing team here. PornHub says girls can enjoy the energy-saving benefits of Wankbands as well, but somehow we’re skeptical of this claim since the band is solely powered by vertical movements. If any ladies out there signs up, let us know how it goes, OK?

Fap for Science

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kinseydataIf you always wanted to be a citizen scientist, here’s your chance: Kinsey Reporter is an app administered by Indiana University at Bloomington that tracks sexual and other intimate behaviours. You download it to your smart phone and then report your activities anonymously to the central data collection site. The project analyses the information and provides different options for data visualisation. You can then explore the data collected by the app yourself and discover new information on subjects as innocuous as public displays of affection and as harmful as unwanted sexual experiences. By zooming into the map, you can see just how much sex is happening in your city.

Via: How You Can Help Scientists Study Sex, Whale & Distant Galaxies