A Decade and a Move

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I’m doing this little blog for ten years now. That’s actually pretty crazy. Ten years is a damn long time on the internet and I’m quite proud and thankful to you that we’re still here. When milkboys started, the “web 2.0” was blooming, blogs popped up everywhere and boys looked like this. Now most people consider Facebook to be the internet, blogs are dead in the water but at least boys look like this ;)

Photo by Milo

As many of you know neither the blog nor I were able to enjoy financial stability for the majority of the last ten years. While the blog should be fine for the most part now, I can’t really say the same for myself. I’d obviously like to change that and even though it doesn’t have anything to do with milkboys directly, I’d like to shamelessly use this opportunity to ask for help with that.

A friend offered me a job that would enable me to start over with my life. I could pay off the debt that’s haunting me since forever, I could actually earn enough to not worry about the little things in life and basically start with a clean sheet.

Let’s move?

The only hurdle is that I would have to move to another city, which is an exciting prospect; I’m just lacking the money to do so. So if you like what I do and want to help me out with this I’d be forever grateful! Just to make it extra clear, this is about me personally, not this blog. So I completely understand if you’d rather spend your money on other things. But if you feel extra-generous, here’s the link to my personal (!) donation page:

Donation Link

Thanks heaps! ❤️

The ”Sissy” Boy Experiment

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In 1970, a five-year-old boy named Kirk Murphy was subjected to a government-funded ex-gay experiment. Under the care of Dr Ivor Lovaas and George Rekers, then a doctoral student, of UCLA, he underwent therapy to eliminate supposed effeminate behaviours. In 1974, Lovaas and Rekers jointly published a paper about the boy they renamed “Kraig,” heralding his treatment for “childhood cross-gender problems” a success and claiming he had been transformed from a gender-confused homosexual-in-waiting to a healthy, heterosexual young man.

On the back of this study, Rekers built a career as an anti-gay activist and a supposed expert in childhood sexual development. He co-founded the Family Research Council and championed reparative therapy to turn gay men straight. A few years ago the State of Florida spent hundreds of thousands of dollars hiring Dr. George Rekers as its star witness in the case against adoption by gays in Florida.

In 2003, Kirk, aged 38 years old and gay, committed suicide.

Quick Status Update

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Hey everyone, you may have noticed that there were fewer posts here lately than there used to be. That’s because I had some rather tedious health issues for the last few months which cost me a lot of energy. I’m getting better now though, I actually feel almost human again so I’ll try my best to get back to the old schedule from here on.

On a different note: A friend will help me with moving the site to amazon’s cloud servers some time next week. That will hopefully make the site faster for people especially in Europe and Asia and should eventually be cheaper too. I’ll try to avoid any downtime but can’t promise anything so if we’re offline for a day or two, you know why.

That’s all for now, feel free to mail me if you have any questions and thanks a lot to everyone who supports me and the site, knowing that you guys have my back means a lot and helped tremendously during the stressy times I had of late!

PS: Have a random naked boy ;)

Saving the Lives of Trans Kids is easy: Accept Them.

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The transgender community has disproportionately high levels of depression and anxiety. Though some foolish physicians have suggested this is a fundamental part of being trans, a new study shows that trans kids who are accepted display virtually the same anxiety level as any other kid.

There are disproportionately high rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide among transgender people in the United States. One familiar statistic shows that a startling 41 percent of trans people attempt to take their own life. This data has been used to undermine the gender transition process: Some foolish physicians have suggested that high rates of psychological issues imply that being transgender is destructive to mental health. Meanwhile, trans advocates have argued that mental anguish in the trans population is the result of environmental factors like discrimination, rejection, and harassment—and not the process of transition itself.

New research published in the medical journal Pediatrics corroborates that claim, suggesting that trans kids who are accepted by their communities do not experience disproportionately high rates of mental health issues. The study measured self-reported feelings of anxiety and depression in a given week among 73 transgender children between the ages of three and 12 years old. As NBC reported, “They found the transgender kids averaged an anxiety score of 50.1 on a National Institutes of Health scale—almost the same as the national norm of 50.”

Dr. Stephen Russell is a professor at the University of Texas at Austin specializing in child development and the co-author on another recent study looking at the mental health of LGBT youth. In an interview with Broadly, he explained, “There is no question that disproportionate rates of mental health problems among trans people are due to stigma, discrimination, and hostility in our culture (transphobia).”

“Children look to their primary caregivers for nurturance and support,” he continued. “True rejection is evolutionarily devastating.” Dr. Russell says that in most species it is typically taboo to reject offspring, but something has occurred in our culture that has made it socially acceptable to reject transgender or LGB children.

According to Dr. Russell, we’re just beginning to uncover the real, lasting impacts of discrimination on well-being and health. “We are seeing that even at a physiological level, discrimination may make people chronically physically and mentally stressed.” Transgender kids today may be the first generation of trans youth to grow up with a heightened degree of cultural awareness around trans identity, as well as increased social acceptance. For the majority of trans people who did not grow up in an accepting environment, their coming-of-age process has often been mired in prejudice. It is important for these trans people to learn how to move beyond the trauma of rejection in formative years.

“Acknowledging those experiences is one important step (and the problem with discrimination is that it is usually stigmatized – we often find it too painful to talk about),” Dr. Russell said, adding that in his research he’s observed that “people who are the victims of harassment and discrimination often feel like a burden to the people who matter the most—even when they are supportive. They often feel that they are ‘bringing them down’ because of their (often chronic) harassment or negative experiences.” It’s important for these kids to understand, he said, “that they aren’t a burden to us—that we are angry because we love them and care for them, not because we’d be better off without them.”

To the parents of transgender kids, Dr. Russell said: “Love your child.” That’s obvious, he added, but for parents it may mean an internal overhaul of biases and beliefs. “Examine your feelings and assumptions and biases about gender: boys and girls, men and women, and what you imagine for your child in the future,” Dr. Russell said, adding that parents should seek professional help if their feelings of discomfort are impacting their relationship with their child.

“Gender is a fundamental organizing principle of our society and culture and of growing up,” Dr. Russell explained. “I think gender non-conforming kids need for adults in their lives to say that and to acknowledge that they are special and brave for expressing themselves in ways that will often challenge other people. That is, they need acknowledgement that they may find themselves ‘going against the grain’—they need adults to acknowledge that and let them know that they support them and are proud of them because of, or despite, that.”

Growing up as a transgender kid can be intensely isolating and frightening. If your family rejects you and your peers reject you, it is possible to develop negative ideas about yourself and your identity, and these damaging views can last a lifetime, leading the trans person away from life-sustaining resources. “Gender non-conforming/trans children whose parents regulate their gender are among those that have the hardest time emotionally,” Dr. Russell said, leaving us with one last piece of advice: “Understand that gender is not just one thing. Just love your child for who your child is and will become.”

via Broadly

Quick Personal Update

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Gonna keep this short: I’m super duper sick at the moment and can’t move much/do anything that requires any kind of energy–hence the lack of posts. I’ll try to make some as soon as possible so please don’t stop coming here <3

Did Kristian just come out?

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I remember reading an article a few years ago on the Destroyer Blog that argued, that we should stop caring about the sexual preferences of teen idols. I can’t quite remember anymore what the reasoning was (and I can’t find the post either, get a search function, Karl! :p) but it made a pretty good point.

I do believe though that there’s also an argument to be made about how out teen stars can have a positive impact on the lives of other queer teens just by being an example, someone they can identify with.

In either case, it’s fair to say that this should always happen on the terms of the star, they should have the choice in the matter and be able to decide if they want their sexuality to be a topic of public debate or not.

That being said… I think Kristian Kostov of very recent Eurovision fame came out in a more or less subtle way in a video (that he actually made before the Eurovision finals) with Australian contestant Isaiah Firebrace:

Thursday Poll *3

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In 4th grade our biology books told us that most boys experience their first ejaculation during a wet dream. We all thought that this must be some kind of legend because literally not a single one of the boys in my class ever had one of those mystical wet dreams, every one of us came the first time because we worked for it ;) But apparently some people have different experiences, let’s find out!

Fresh Milk (Updates)

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If you follow us on Twitter or Patreon you probably know most of this by now but let’s catch up real quick with what’s new for everyone else.

The Server

I’m talking to someone who offered to help out with the hosting situation right now so this was hopefully the last time the site went down. They’re an actual, professional hoster so while it won’t be free, it will be cheaper than it is right now and we can still rely on professional maintenance of the server and not worry about getting kicked off all of sudden without any warning.

The Chat

I have connected our Patreon campaign to our chat. So you can now connect your personal Patreon account with your Discord account. That way you get a special user role in the chat that comes with some perks (among other things access to special channels like the behind the scenes blog, the details can be found on the campaign page).

We also added some new channels to the chat. #introductions is the place for you to tell the world how amazingly interesting you are (or just share your dick size, whatever floats your goats). And #homework is there to help you get through school, uni or whatever else is throwing disgusting algebra at you.

So next time you’re bored or just want to pick some flowers just go and check out the chat, it’s a pretty sweet place with loads of nice people. And Blue.

The Quest

Talking about the chat: One of our resident catboys, which you probably remember from Cute Caturday *9, is thinking about applying for a role as an actor with our friends over at Helix Studios. So if you want to let him know that you support that endeavour, head over to this post on his Tumblr and like it ;)

Video submitted by Denis, photo by F0rever Unde4d and kitten edit by kzone